Most important is love

​    When dealing with children, I often wonder if I’m making the right choices. I tend to second guess myself. It is a huge responsibility to raise tiny humans to be decent people. 

We read all of these conflicting things about how to best teach and shape them. Breast or bottle? Should we spank our kids or not? Vaccinate or don’t vaccinate? Home school, private school, or public school? The list is endless!!

     I am currently in a rough patch with my son. He is 4 and in preschool for his third year. He’s intelligent, kind, empathetic, and incredibly stubborn (much like his daddy). He gets into these patterns that he can’t seem to easily break out of. They typically happen around September and February of each year, and it usually takes something huge and devastating for him to break out of it. This most recent one seems to be sticking.

I’ve been watching his struggle. I know he knows what he has to do to make things right. He tells me what needs to be done but he won’t do it. I don’t know why, and it pains me to have to watch him suffer through the consequences of his actions, both natural and given.

     I keep wracking my brain. I wonder if there is something I haven’t taught him or if there is more I could be doing. He has lost a lot in the way of privileges, and I sit and agonize over whether or not I’m doing the right things.

     People tell me I’m too hard on him, but I disagree with them. I know my son and I know what he is capable of. If I don’t hold him accountable now, I am doing him a disservice. In the future, the world won’t let him get away with things because he is loved.

     It is important to remember that we are in charge of educating the future of our world. What we do and how we handle things effect the outcome of humanity. The most crucial thing that we have to remember is to do all things out of love. That is the example that we need to set for our children. And if we do all things from love, then we absolutely can’t go wrong.

     That’s how I know that my son will be okay. It’s because no matter what life lessons I’m teaching him, and regardless of his consequences, he knows that he is loved. He knows that he’s secure with his father and I, as well as all of his other caregivers. When you look at it, that’s what matters the most to our children.

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